This week on “hold off, Is it a night out together?” we’re accompanied by Autostraddle President and
L Keyword
specialist
Riese Bernard
to talk about: The Chart. Yes it’s true! This event is about lesbian interconnectivity â hooking up with pals’ exes, pals connecting with this exes, plus the tradition developed by what crisis.
Appear for any gossip, remain for the mental processing. And before that enjoy a casino game that exams Christina’s limits: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she typically wouldn’t normally.)
Thank-you for all the great opinions after our very own premiere! When you haven’t yet consider giving us a rating or review!
SHOW RECORDS
+ 5 years ago Riese make an
Old Hollywood information
that’s the intersection of my interests.
+ Listed Here Is
the article
I reference where We mention starting up using my roommates.
+ My personal crush in the week Mj Rodriguez introduced a songs video clip on her song
“something you should state”
!
+ As somebody who has merely viewed some episodes of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush associated with the week C.C. Babcock ended up being shocking for me if it turned out she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina tells me they generally still tend to be.)
Drew:
I might be really great along with it current. I would personally never ever add some other person without their own permission. But the idea of everytime some one ended up being like, “concur that you will be connected with me,” I’d wind up as, “Yeah, oahu is the existence I’ve resided. I really don’t mind.” Would be that odd? Is that an issue?
Christina:
No, as if I found myselfn’t, i might feel bad not-being. I’d be like, “Wait, I’m not lying?”
Theme track plays
Drew:
Hi, I Am Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I’m Christina.
Drew:
And introducing
Hold Off, Is It A Night Out Together?
Christina:
Wait, So Is This A Romantic Date?
is actually an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the big concerns. To begin with, could it be a date? Exactly what are times? Who’re dates? Can we like dates? These represent the form of questions that people answer on this subject right here incredibly specialist and lovely podcast.
Drew:
I am Drew Gregory. I am an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
My name is Christina Tucker. I’m additionally a writer at Autostraddle. Im a loud queer on the net. Im recovering at explaining myself personally as a writer and, notoriously, a lesbian. That’s you. That’s whom we are.
Drew:
Yeah. And therefore our main subject recently will be the Chart.
Christina:
I simply believed it needed a sting. I am not sure. That thought truly dramatic, but i believe it needed it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, please, kindly. Many thanks, thanks a lot. No, no, no. The most effective number of drama.
Christina:
Thank you so much.
Drew:
Yeah. Therefore we’re writing about lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
I really like that term because it sounds like you need to resume the lesbians. It sounds just like the connection to the internet actually functioning.
Drew:
Yes. It’s very advanced, extremely futuristic, and has existed since there’s been lesbians, I think.
Christina:
Yeah. I believe students would state as soon as they discovered initial lesbian fossils, they discovered a chart alongside of those carved inside sand. And I also believe’s exactly what that flick is mostly about, proper? It’s about the chart? That movie with Kate Winslet while the sand fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that’s what it is more about.
Drew:
If only
Ammonite
was about cavern females. I would view that lesbian flick.
Christina:
Really, when I haven’t seen it, I’m going to courageously point out that it was. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Because it’s like there is countless lesbian period pieces, but we’ve never ever gone back that far. And that I believe it’s time we do.
Christina:
Let us simply hold using it further back in time.
Drew:
Before we have to your main topic, you are however getting to know all of us. And I felt that it will be enjoyable to play a game title the place you dudes could really get acquainted with Christina. Thus our icebreaker because of this few days is actually a little game that I call “Would U-Haul.”
Christina:
I’m, once more, so stressed about that. This might just be the way in which I come to the online game. This could be my personal online game mindset, only a little high-key, slightly stressed. Which is okay. All of us are understanding.
Drew:
I think that’s great. I believe that may move you to more vulnerable, perhaps.
Christina:
One of my personal favorite feelings.
Drew:
Just a horror, just an acute terror. Therefore, the way that “Would U-Haul” works is I’m going to describe a scenario. Why don’t we call it Christina enthusiast fiction. And that I’m attending pause after each and every little area getting love, “Okay, Christina, I know you have never ever resided with somebody, don’t want to live with a partner. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul?”
Christina:
And that I will sometimes say yes or I’ll say, “I’m prepared.”
Drew:
If you don’t â really, we’re going to see here. But i am excited. I believe I’ve possibly cracked the rule.
Christina:
You have cracked the rule? I’m thrilled.
Drew:
Let us find out how very long this requires. Of course, if you never perform, In my opinion you win? I am not sure how you can find winners right here.
Christina:
I don’t know that there exists champions inside the game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Well, I don’t know any time you’ll accept that following this. And so I’m getting heading.
Christina:
Reasonable adequate.
Drew:
Okay. So, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You’re at your friend’s wedding. Despite the great number of romcoms you have taken in, you did maybe not choose this wedding thinking you’ll fulfill anyone because, really, this isn’t a romcom. This is basically the real and regular life of Christina Grace Tucker. You are taking your own designated chair and they are glancing at the cellphone once you realize a female at the dining table is wanting at you. She introduces herself since your buddy’s previous baby sitter. She’s remained a pal on the household, but she doesn’t truly know any individual there. She seems like mid-forties possesses a striking angular face. You start chatting. She offers to get you a glass or two. When she rises, you realize she is six legs high, 6â² 3â³ in pumps. So that you know what? I’m merely going to hold on there and stay similar, at this point, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I’m intrigued. I am intrigued because i would get put at the wedding ceremony. But yet I’m not U-Hauling anyplace.
Drew:
Cool. That is completely reasonable. Entirely fair. Okay. You spend whole wedding ceremony getting to know the other person. There’s merely a sudden spark and immediate chemistry. And certainly, you will do hook up while the sex is actually remarkable.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
And thus this wedding ceremony was in Northern Ca. And that means you both increase the remains for three times to bang and explore and consume at restaurants and bang. And also you offer to split the cost of the now combined room, but she laughs you off and it is love, “certainly maybe not, honey.” So that the next 3 days are miraculous. You feel your own wall space tumbling all the way down. You are slipping quicker than you actually have actually. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Thus simply for clarity’s benefit, i am having trouble imagining a world for which we got three shock days from try to hang out with people i really do maybe not understand. That appears bonkers. In case i did so, best for me. But I’m not really U-Hauling at this point. It’s going to be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. Which is good. You only met. I get it. I have it. Okay.
Christina:
Thank you a whole lot.
Drew:
So she comes back to ny and you go back to Philadelphia.
Christina:
This is where We reside.
Drew:
And you are texting everyday. This is where your home is and it is in which this lady life. And you’re texting all the time while see each other many times monthly. She’s extremely hectic with her work, but she is rapid purchase you a train admission to help you appear see their and remain at the woman stunning brownstone in Fort Greene. And half a year go. And another evening if you are over to supper, she requires you to move around in with her. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And relocate to Ny? I do not really like New York. No, I am not relocating at six months level. I’m not undertaking that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Entirely, totally, entirely. Wow. Okay. So you keep dating cross country. She realizes that you may need some time and the woman is willing to watch for you. More several months pass. It’s now been over a-year. Your property manager tells you that they’re selling your home to a developer who is putting in apartments, which means you can not renew it. You ought to discover a new place. The today girl tells you that no force, but the woman offer however appears. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. Now, i’d U-Haul for two reasons.
Drew:
Yay! Okay. Kindly inform us.
Christina:
Mainly, in a global by which my personal property manager marketed the house to develop it, my property manager is currently my personal best friend, to make sure that seems like one thing went completely wrong in our friendship. And that I might choose to simply leave Philadelphia in any event. And when I get to move in using my girlfriend over right here, that seems good. That’s good. Entirely okay. But yeah, i do believe i may require an external energy like a mean landlord.
Drew:
That is very â fine. Used to do think you’ll need certainly to need housing to get truth be told there, and so I’m glad I understood that.
Christina:
Yeah. That is precisely what must accidentally myself initial.
Drew:
Well, I’m glad to understand what it does take. Therefore theoretically, if you weren’t kicked out, exactly how much more hours?
Christina:
Frankly, that could have gone on for a long time. Philly and ny are not also that definately not both. I got room over here. We’re bouncing backwards and forwards. We are having good times. I could have allow that roll for some time until I guess Shoshana becomes the worst individual I know.
Drew:
I didn’t know that Shoshana had your house. Really, there you decide to go.
Christina:
There we go. Wow, that was exciting.
Drew:
Well, many thanks for playing.
Christina:
I am pressured, are clear.
Drew:
And I’m grateful that I’m sure⦠possibly if you should be previously, so if anyone’s ever internet dating both you and desires you to definitely move around in, perhaps your own girl told Shoshana to offer the house in the interest of your connection.
Christina:
Honestly the fastest method â somebody would have to consult with Shoshana and stay love, “simply kick the girl completely.” Right after which she’d be like, “Yeah, certain. However.” That could be how it occurred, even in the event she don’t sell the home. Some one would you need to be like, “are you able to merely kick this lady out very she’ll simply get over it and move in beside me?” And she would say yes. Double she’d do that. That’s what relationship is.
Drew:
I adore that.
Christina:
Yeah, that is really gorgeous.
Drew:
Well, I feel like we learned a large amount about you.
Christina:
Thanks A Lot. Personally I think like We learned loads about myself, also. Threat of homelessness is really the point that keeps myself relocating any situation, i assume. Wow.
Drew:
Well, which is fantastic.
Christina:
Which was truly fascinating. I’m equally happy to go into our main section because I think referring to lesbian connectivity with this particular guest, with this particular unique visitor, I think it will be amazing, Drew. How are you presently feeling?
Drew:
I am thus thrilled. This will be a professional. By that, i am talking about an
L Keyword
specialist, but a small amount of a specialist when you look at the topic available.
Christina:
I think a few things are real, my pal. I believe a few things could be correct without a doubt. Can we like to introduce all of our guest or can we desire our very own visitor to introduce themselves?
Drew:
I’d love all of our guest introducing by herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I am going to claim that our visitor will be the one and only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, speak.
Riese:
Hi, I’m Riese. As well as being odd to be the guest!
Christina:
Yeah, it really is.
Riese:
I had to not say something. I didn’t also do so. I did state circumstances. I’d to sit down here calmly.
Christina:
While were actually courageous. And your confronts were appreciated.
Riese:
Thank you a whole lot.
Christina:
Though this will be clearly an audio average, Needs all of our audience to know that Riese ended up being making some very nice effect confronts during “Would U-Haul.”
Riese:
There’s different ways becoming heard. Guess what happens What i’m saying is? That is what i state. Im the CEO of Autostraddle.com. And I’m in addition on an undefeated kickball group. And that is me. We have a puppy named Carol. And I also have dated people.
Christina:
Congrats on kickball!
Riese:
Thank you so much. I am associated with people.
Christina:
Great. Loving that. That’s great to take to this, this here dating podcast. Which is really good.
Riese:
Yeah. I believe that⦠can there be anything else?
Drew:
No, i believe that is great, Riese.
Christina:
Whatever you wanna discuss.
Riese:
I really like raspberries, the fruit raspberries, and swimming pools.
Christina:
In Contrast toâ¦
Riese:
You Are Aware when someone goes likeâ¦
Drew:
Its like when you blow. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those tend to be disgusting, so I just exhausted all of them from my head.
Riese:
Yeah. And that’s all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Well, I straight away thought of you because of this topic.
Christina:
That is true.
Drew:
Because to begin with, clearly, queer ladies and non-binary people in lesbian area have now been like, I am not sure, making love with people who people they know have seen sex with since a long time before
The L Keyword
was actually actually ever a string. But I do feel like
The L Word
solidified a certain social concept of the information with Alice Pieszecki. And so I felt like you might have many insight into this subject.
Riese:
It’s real. A couple of experts, I want to say, of
The L Keyword
had this real chart ones in addition to their pals these were drawing from the wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i do believe, had been one among them. She spoke to you about any of it, which they had built this. Because demonstrably, everybody in that blogger’s place had banged other people inside the journalist â you know, while the extended internet of that generation of lesbians in l . a .. And they also watched can they were like, “Let’s place it during the show.” Several of them are on the chart. Like, some of the people who ⦠like, real everyone is regarding information as bull crap.
Christina:
That is incredible. That’s the method that you know you have made it.
Riese:
Actually that precious?
Christina:
That could be thrilling for my situation.
Riese:
And when you yourself haven’t viewed
The L Keyword,
firstly, congrats. Secondly, it will become the centerpiece of just one of your lead character, Alice’s, apartment. She’s got all of it over the woman wall structure. Plus it could be the name of an internet site which they began called ourchart.com that flopped. As well as the concept ⦠and it is into the pilot, i do believe. When you look at the initial occurrence, Alice starts making reference to how everybody’s linked, because every person’s connected with this specific person. And I also can link you, like you’re most likely only two levels from myself. Which ended up being correct. Like, despite Dana, who’d limited knowledge because she was a closeted playing tennis user, they nevertheless managed to connect the lady. That is certainly real world since it is true.
Christina:
That’s culture. Yeah. That is what tradition looks like.
Riese:
That is tradition. That is queer culture right there. And from now on every person tends to make their charts.
Christina:
Yeah. So as that would definitely be my personal next concern, was actually have actually either people made a chart? Because I don’t imagine I have, I am also kind of today thinking like, that which was this just last year resting within my house for basically did not make a chart? Like, that which was the purpose of that, truly?
Riese:
I believe I accomplished it inside my journal, as like ⦠Because I like, I’m not sure, planning details, I guess, as a thought exercise.
Christina:
Yeah, i believe that’s additionally the reason why i’m astonished that i’ven’t accomplished it. I prefer the thought of categorizing circumstances.
Riese:
Right. Yeah. Since it is interesting. I don’t know why its so fascinating, however it is. It really is fascinating is love, wow, most of these individuals, they truly are linked. It is untamed.
Drew:
From the program, when ourchart.com is formulated, they have a real information that individuals can also add material. And I also feel something that you joked about on
To L and Right Back,
and today people state on a regular basis is a lot like, if this existed in a proper means, no-one would place their own labels onto it, no one would feel safe getting their unique brands about it.
Riese:
You’d.
Drew:
I would personally. I’d be extremely fine along with it present. I might never add somebody else without their particular permission. Nevertheless the thought of similar, each time some body had been like, “make sure you may be attached to myself,” I’d be like, “Yeah, it is the life i have resided. I really don’t mind.” Is odd? Is that a challenge?
Christina:
No, as if I happened to ben’t, I would feel poor not being ⦠i’d end up like, “hold off, I am not onto it? Like, I’m sorry, what?” No, that could actually deliver me personally into a light ethical panic about exactly who I am as someone, the things I’m carrying out. Are we interesting? Carry out men and women {like
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